It's 4 a.m. and I'm riding in a car with my parents. We've just crossed the Wisconsin border and my father is telling us about his latest visit to the proctologist. My mother and I have warned him rep

If the world was a perfect place this is how things would work: all of your former lovers would become morbidly obese after they broke up with you. They would live long, miserable lives, ruing the day

When I was straight, preparing to go out for the evening was such a desperate affair. It involved bizarre eating rituals, manic hair brushing, and applications of lotions.

 

Being gay hasn't simplifie

I was bored at work today, so I called my friend Greta and told her that I was going to write a personal ad for her.

 

“But I already have a girlfriend,” she whined.

 

“Yes, but I think you can do bett

At the beginning of every year, the head of the company I work for crawls out of his hole, adjusts his beady eyes to the sunlight, and calls his employees together for a state-of-the-corporation addre